Sorry again for the lack of communication. I did not have a computer while in Albania and Macedonia, so I was not able to update here. Hopefully you were able to follow on the facebook group, if you have facebook. If not, I am planning on posting a summary update of my time in Albania and Macedonia. Until then, here is a mini blurb of my thoughts upon returning to the States. Thank you all once again for your help, love, and support over these past nine months.
Becca
Life is really a confusing mess of decisions. Each decision that you make leads to a
domino effect of outcomes. How do
you really know when you are making the right decision, or is it even possible
to know you are making the right decision? I am sitting here after a week of being home from a 9 month
adventure with God more confused than ever before. I have two paths that I can choose to walk down. And both paths lead to very different
outcomes. One leads to a “normal”
life in America, and the other leads to an unconventional life in England. The life in America is the “smarter”
more practical choice, while the life in England is one filled with crazy
adventures of trusting God with everything.
Now if this were me last year at this time, and I was faced
with the two options, well to be honest, I would obviously choose the England
one, because that is exactly what I did last year at this time. But, this time my decision to stay or
to go has very different consequences.
So, if this were last year at this time, I would without hesitation,
choose the America life. I can
finally work in my dream job, of real estate. I can become that workaholic self that I tend to be, and
throw everything that I have into my job.
It would truly be my dream.
And that opportunity to do so is right there within reach. But what is holding me back? What is keeping me from going after
that? It is after all, the wise,
logical next step. I do need a
career. I do need to make some
money. I am twenty-four after all. Is it not time that I start “acting
like an adult?”
On the other hand, I have this amazing opportunity to head
back to England and work with an organization whose core statement is “To know
God and make Him known.” I would
be able to work openly with people whose main goal in life is to get to know
Jesus better! I could combine my
love of working with people with being able to openly share about Jesus and all
that He has to offer. It is the
perfect mix of my degree in Social Work with living a life dedicated to Jesus.
(Not in any way saying that people who are social workers, working in the
“conventional” working world are not living for Jesus. I am simply stating that I can be 100%
open with the people I am working with that I am indeed a Christian, and it is
because of my relationship with God that I am able to face life head on.) It is the perfect mix for me. It may not be the perfect mix for
others, but for me, it definitely is that perfect combination.
So why not? Why
am I not jumping on either AMAZING opportunity? Well, after almost a year of living in a YWAM community
where I had the opportunity to spend two hours each day in prayer and worship,
I realized that it should be my number one to live for the Lord and for the
Lord alone. This means laying down
my own initial thoughts of what I would like, and picking up His desires for
me. His desires for us are always
our best option because He only has the best planned for us. So, even if it goes against what you
may want initially, it can only lead to good in the end. With all of that being said, I do not
want to jump on either option until I figure out which option is the one that
God wants for me. It may not even
be either of those options. So
right now I am taking some time to pray about it to wait and see where He
guides me.
Choosing to run my life this way may seem extremely
unconventional, and it may in fact seem irresponsible, but this is the way that
I believe God calls us to live.
God called us to leave our old lives behind, put off the old and put on
the new, (Eph 4:22-24) and to pick up our cross and to follow Him (Matt
16:24). That may look different
for each person, but He will let each of us know what that will look like in
our own lives. God does in fact
speak to each one of us, so when we surrender our lives over to Him, He LOVES
that and wants to direct us to the best possible life for us. He will answer us and guide us to an
answer. It may not be an answer we
are expecting or wanting, (Or it could be the EXACT answer we were wanting and
hoping for) but it WILL definitely be the answer that has our best interests in
mind. So, I do not know if living
life another two years with YWAM will be what God wants for me, or if it is
staying in the States and getting a more conventional job will be the answer,
but what I DO know is that whichever option He leads me to will be the best
option for me.
I will keep you all updated with whatever it is that I do
choose.
Blessings
No comments:
Post a Comment